Sunday, July 14, 2013

My hero: Abe Lincoln, Leader, Hero, and Manic Depressive

I finally got THREE things I wanted. 1.) a night AND day alone with the Hubby Chris.~A.K.A. babysitters for the kids...OVERNIGHT and at the same time  2.) To lay back alone and watch a movie with Chris RELAXED without having to Pause it, stop it, or forget it due to interruptions that come with having a beautiful family and much 'needy' children. AND 3.) I got to do numbers one and two while completing number three. Watching the new release movie "Lincoln." 
I have always thought of Abe Lincoln of a GREAT role model, wonderful man, honest and caring Christian and great political leader. As a child in school, I would do reports on Abe when I was given the chance to pick a topic. Of course, in Elementary School, I was limited on my choice of books to gain information from. However, every report was different, each revealing more and I remember doing six reports all together-so with my memory there may have been more.
I always thought that Abe was awesome because he was able to stand up to so much controversy, and overcome the conflicts, hurdles and bumps in the road when it came to his idea of the ever famous, and then seemingly ludicrously impossible idea of signing the 13th Amendment.  Today, after watching the movie "Lincoln", I realized that even as a child I thought that to be a couragous task, but I didn't fully grasp all the negative feedback, put downs, all the trouble, the fighting for what he believed in, and even the lack of support from family, and even his best friend, Joshua Speed.
So, the movie focused on Abe's Presidency, what he did as a leader to unite the country, and what he did FOR THE PEOPLE. I must admit that I thought the movie would be good, but just a documentary and have little comical moments. However, anyone who knows about President Lincoln knows that he was known for telling stories and jokes, which sometimes caused him to gain some criticism throughout the term. As I was watching the movie tonight, I had wondered, WHY didn't I know he was this funny? Really? I always quote him. I always find awesome quotes about life, love, people and Christianity that are wise and so intelligent. I can't help but notice how his mind and my mind work alike. I figured it out. He and I suffer from the same ailment. 
Manic Depression. Also sometimes referred to as Bipolar disorder. I notice when growing up, I was under a load of stress. I always used comedy as a way to channel my energy when I was depressed and had to appear somewhere like work, school, and being a parent. Why? Because it got my mind off of  being depressed. I thought if I could focus on something else then I'd feel better and nobody would know what was wrong with me....because there was a time I didn't know nor did I want someone to tell me. But after watching the movie and with my ever wondering mind, I did do some research and found that there are many documented incidents of Abraham Lincoln's depression, as well as a book called "Abraham Lincoln's Melancholy" by Joshua Wolf Shenk. In a couple reports I read on this book I found that it focused on how Abe used his "comedy" to focus on what he needed to get done. He stated that telling his stories and jokes are what kept him going sometimes. It's as if being Manic and Bipolar at the same time, it's a feeling that is not fun when someone is forced to go from the "manic and exciting" end of the pole down to the "sad and depressed" end which happens unexpectedly and uncontrollably. This is why President Lincoln told stories and jokes when there was stress in the room, when times were hard. Just as a kid, I used my humor to get sent to the principal's office  or to miss too much work while isolating. We both used humor, he just had a better way with it that was more positive. He used his humor, and his ailment to help found our country again.
So, tell me. Why is Bipolar and Manic Depression now a means for someone to get put on disability? We now have medication to help, as well as doctors, counselors, psychiatrist, psychologists. Why now do we need to also become "disabled"? I see commercials with the "disability lawyers" who claim to get you disability...the money you 'deserve'...if you suffer from any of the following: Bipolar, anxiety, Manic Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, ADD, ADHD, and the list goes on. In times of Mr. Lincoln these medicines, knowledge, and help from professionals were not available. Why do we NEED to get disability and stay in bed, stay at home wasting our God given talents?  Lincoln who faced going thru the Great Depression, the Civil War, not to mention he lost his only brother at a very young age, his mom, aunt, and uncle died due to disease. A few years later his sister died after giving birth while delivering a still born baby. He also lost his job, had his business collapse and was in debt for 17 years, he failed to be nominated for congress, senate and the vice presidency too! He also had the failure of rejected by two women. But, he didn't quit. He fought, became President of the then "ununited" States during the Civil War and had to unite millions of Americans while dealing with his own issues, taking care of a family, and running a country.I'm sure after all of these events he wasn't just depressed, rather would have had some Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well.
So, instead of using his Manic Depression, and catastrophic events in life as an excuse to run, hide, give up, and lay around and wile in the mire, he stood tall, and used his Bipolar (which can cause creativity as the brain races during mania), to pull a country together and become one of the best loved, most heroic, brave, and UN disabled humans and Presidents of the United States of America.
I no longer feel I need to hide my Bipolar. No longer do I feel it's an ailment, rather something to make me stronger. I believe that in times of trial, confusion or hard times, if we dig deep enough for information, we can find someone, somewhere in history or present, that has our same issues. Seeing someone else completely overcome such set backs with such success is inspiring enough that I don't feel anything could hold me back from success. Who am I to complain? I have been able to be a successful parent, student, wife, daughter, and part time work at home mom. Now though, when I'm feeling melancholy, I know who to think of and that will help me make it through whatever I need to. Because the present is important. Hiding from my condition will not help me continue to raise a happy and successful family. Hiding and isolation are ways to miss memories. Never miss a minute because each minute lost is a memory not made. A wise Abe Lincoln once said, "See what is before you in the here and now, that's the only thing that counts."

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Please leave any comment and I will be sure to respond. Remember this: Live each day as your last. Never miss a moment, each moment is a memory that could end up meaning the world to you. Love each other deeply. Hate and dislike hurt the soul and take away from your peace, happiness, creativity and purpose. Live Loud With No Regrets.