The Parenting Book INSTINCT

When I was just about to have my first baby, Autumn~now 10, I remember every cold, sniffle, cough, rash(diaper or other) I was going to the doctor. He made me so angry always saying, 'you are just first time parents' and sent us on our way. If only babies came with instructions...especially nights those kids don't sleep. Well my daughter starts having so much snot at 2 weeks old that she'd cough so hard, choke on snot, turn blue, and throw up. As a first time mom I knew something was wrong. So did her dad. But did we want to go be told we are worried since her cough started at week 1. I have had 5 births and am blessed with 4 kids. It is normal for new born babies to cough and sneeze their mucus from the womb out. But still being a 1st time parent something was wrong. I thought I had no baby manual no instruction book, but in knew something was wrong. So back to doctor Make Me Feel Dumb. He said a cold& home with albuteral. Well, another week of it not working & her turning blue and now purple with bugged out eyes. So I went to the EMERGENCY ROOM. As the nurse witnessed this, and my baby was being admitted. She was watched by her doctor who said nothing was wrong. A week she sat there. No help no diagnosis no medicine, almost dying . I had it. I had the feeling in my gut that my kid needed help beyond what they were doing. I had a gut feeling &heavy heart telling me to get her to a Children's Hospital. Less than an hour later her main nurse said to me that she shouldn't tell us but we needed to move her to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital. So, we asked the Dr and he had a helicopter there in 20 minutes. She was at Children's Hospital in 1 hour she was diagnosed with Pertussis. Babies get vaccines for that at age 2 months, she was 2 weeks. They told me that if I would have put off getting her there another hour she would have DIED. BUT she's 10.
Why? Part God part my mother instincts. Parental instincts. We parents do get instructions, it's our gut.
My gut has instructed me tens of hundreds of times in the best interest of my kids. I DO NOT go by the book at all. I do what is best for my kids. And I know what that is by my gut.
PARENTS :
1~follow your gut its usually right
2~ paternal & maternal instincts exist
3~ you are more capable of raising, caring for, and helping a child reach full potential than you give yourself credit for
4~no parent is perfect. We strive to do our best for our children and if we do our best we doin it right.
5~your gut & heart are always right follow them.
6~ let your children make decisions they always need to express them selves
7~ if your kids are healthy and happy you got this.

posted from Bloggeroid

Feeding His Lambs: Being Responsible for leading ALL Children to Jesus

Day 30 - Fathers and Mothers Devotion | The New Bible.com
Each day I read the bible (or something like it). By going to youversion.com, and doing the devotional titled, "Father's and mother's devotion," I reached day 30 today and it talked about how Jesus was talking to Peter in John 21, and Jesus says, "Peter, do you love me more than these?" and Peter replies, "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." and Jesus replied, "Then feed my Lambs." To Me, this showed the importance of pouring our love for Jesus out by "feeding" each other. I was relating this to the reading and if you click on the link above at the very top, and sign up you can do the whole devotion. Or I'll copy the part that went to this to help you understand what I mean when I'm discussing this.
This is what the devotional to that verse in John 21 said:

It Takes a Village: Feed My Lambs
"Ora na azu nwa"--Nigerian Igbo proverb.
Some of you who are single or married without children may be thinking, “Well, this whole parenting thing is for somebody else.” Not true. The African proverb is right--it really does take a village to raise a child.
You may not have a child but are connected by blood, marriage, and faith to many young ones. God considers you a key part of the discipling process. Parents are often exhausted and overwhelmed by the day-to-day care of their children. They need and welcome as many Jesus-loving, hug-giving adults in their lives as possible.
After his triumphant resurrection, Jesus commissioned believers to feel a sense of communal responsibility for children. He told his main man Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord’, he said, ‘you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs” (John 21:15).
Whether you’re an auntie or uncle, a Sunday school teacher or a neighbor, a community or church volunteer, a coach or a teacher, Jesus is thrilled that you are willing to be part of his village, thrilled that you place such high value on his little people, thrilled that you are helping to feed his lambs."

This is very true. I believe 100% that Kids DO need as many "Jesus-Loving, hug-giving adults in their lives as possible. For many reasons. of course, to be Fed, but also, To be Loved so they learn to Love. All the 10 commandments are followed by doing TWO things. 1. Loving God Above everyone and everything with all your heart, and 2. Loving Your Neighbor as yourself. We must teach them to Love, not only by emotion, but importantly by action. I believe that when Jesus said to Peter, "Feed my Lambs," he was showing that WE ALL, as Jesus' followers are responsible to look after each other, including each other's children. By doing so we are also following some of his other teachings. We are responsible to feed His lambs. We each have a purpose, but this is a very special one. By feeding His "Lambs" we are following his teaching that we are to keep children innocent. We are to be like kids. Jesus says that if we are not like children we will NOT enter the Kingdom. In Matthew 19:13-15, People brought children to Jesus for him to Place his hands on them and pray for them. These people were rebuked by the disciples because in their minds, Jesus was much too busy to be bothered with some kids. But Jesus made it known: "Bring the children to me and do NOT hinder them. For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Then he placed his hands on them and prayed. This TINY passage goes with this reading. We are to BRING children to Jesus' Kingdom and not hinder them from coming. how do we do this?  We Do this by following his teaching to Peter. We feed the Lambs and BAM! It's a domino effect. We are responsible for using our gifts to get to children, our own, our neighbor kids, nieces, nephews, and younger siblings, and feeding them spiritual knowledge. Feeding them love. Feeding them the Word of God. Feeding them kindness, gentleness, and EVERY ounce of Jesus we can. Once The Children are fed, once we have "Fed His Lambs," then we will learn to notice, learn to act like, learn to believe like a "lamb." Once we play with the children, teach them, get to know them, we will then, By Feeding them, learn how to get into Heaven. By being with a child and becoming child like, Jesus tells us that "The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to Such As These." So, we are not only responsible to feed the Lambs, but to become like them. How? BELIEF. Innocence. Children believe us adults out of faith, out of being unable to do much without us, by relying on us. They are so innocent that they have no choice but to believe we will feed them, we will cloth them, give them all they need because through their innocence, they are required to believe us, trust us, and have a strong desire to be like us. Why? Didn't your parent's ever say not to feed the stray cat? Once you feed it, the cat TRUSTS you'll always feed it, care for it, as do Children. We feed the Lambs, And once we feed His Lambs, we will learn to embrace that innocence of a child and enter the Kingdom. We will learn to just accept as a child does that Jesus will be sure our needs are met, and we will enter the Kingdom. They Accept what we tell them, as we need to Be "such as these" and believe what Jesus says. Don't be a "Thomas," who was low in his faith and had to see the sores in Jesus' hands To believe it was the Lord, Thomas had to have it proven to him, he wasn't innocent as a child and didn't just accept it, Jesus showed him his sores where the nails were THEN he believed, don't be like Thomas. But instead, Feed His Lambs His knowledge, God's Word, and in the process, learn to Be as a Lamb and eat Jesus' Knowledge as a child: Innocently, acceptingly, and most importantly with Faith and Strong Belief that what he says is true. As a Child (Lamb) eats the knowledge we read them and teach them of the word, we need to be such as those and eat the same knowledge we are feeding.
So, Always stay alert and Feed His Lambs. Then Become A Lamb yourself.
xoxox,
 Megs

PARENTS: Better Safe Than Sorry, DO YOUR HOME WORK!

EVERYDAY I pick up the news paper. EVERYDAY-give or take one or two a week there is someone in the paper for Child Molestation!!! As a mother, a Christian, and a HUMAN BEING, I can't imagine what, why or how someone could take the innocence of our children and not see anything wrong with it. It is amazing. The people I know-(I know a lot of people), are always bringing this subject up as well. I was reading up on it, to try to understand it and although I CAN'T grasp it, I did learn a bunch. I found out that a child molester is most likely someone who knows our kids. A family member, a neighbor, and often at one point even our priests.
Although we can not stop it from happening, we can lessen the chances of it happening. If it did happen we can stop it from continuing.

1.  Do your homework. There are 47 sexually violent predators and a total of 53 people on Megan's law within a 25 mile radius from my home. I showed my daughter photos of the ones who lived within 2-3 miles, and explained if she sees them not to talk to them. I KNOW people change. But, these are our kids. I'm not taking any chances.
2. Do your homework. If your child shows the warning signs as listed below, talk to your child. You can easily say, "You are not in trouble, and have done nothing wrong. Did somebody touch you in your private areas in a way they shouldn't."
3. Do your homework. Check Megan's Law to keep you and your children aware of anyone who has harmed children in the past. They show photographs of the predator every six months at least.
4. Do your homework. Look for warning signs.

•  Extreme fear of someone shown by your child. Your child may not know that something wrong has happened, but they may lose interest in being around the predator, or show anxiety when they are mentioned.They may even break down emotionally or throw an unusual fit when they know they will be around the predator.
• Loss of interest in playing with friends, and doing activities that they normally love to do. They may even lose interest in school, refusing to attend.
• Shame: a child could suddenly become over obsessed with their body in either negative or positive ways. Normally, it's negative. They may even state that their body is hurt, bad, or not good anymore. 
• Unfortunately a child who has been hurt in this way is exposed to sex before they should be. So of course, they may talk about it, when you as the parent may not have brought it up yet. The child may even introduce sex into play with dolls, figurines, or even friends.
• Behavior changes. Since children have trouble expressing how they feel, they may channel their anger or hurt into acting out. They may end up with a behavior issue, where as before they didn't have one. They may even channel this anger towards other people, even those they love most because they aren't sure how else to say they are hurting, angry, mad, confused, or any emotion for that matter.
• PHYSICAL CLUES: Don't make a huge issue of it at first, because these signs don't mean your child has been hurt FOR SURE in this manner. Do a physical examination. Watch your child. Does it hurt when they sit down, are they having trouble pooping or peeing, wetting the bed unusually, swelling and or bruises in the vaginal area, redness or blood.
• Loss of sleep: Child wakes more than normal, is suddenly afraid of the dark or has more nightmares than usual. Your child may ask for a light when they did sleep in the dark.

I was astounded at the amount of people in my hometown-small home town who are child predators. you can check your hometown, or a specific person by clicking on this  link:
Megan's Law Registry for The United States of America 
So parents, do your homework and don't be afraid to discuss this with children. Child abuse is on the rise. If your child, your child's friend or someone you know is being harmed, or you have a suspicion that someone is hurting a child, sexual, physical, mentally, or emotionally, don't let it continue. YOU alone make a difference. Call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A CHILD (1-800-422-4453) where there are counselors available 24/7/365. Or click this link, and once you are there click on the purple tab that says "GET HELP" for more information on this service. Here's the link: Find resources, information, statistics, stories, or get involved by helping, even if you don't know anyone who's been harmed.
I hope you found help, or will now use this knowledge, as I will to help children in the future or present.

xoxoxox
Megs

IMPORTANCE OF GETTING YOUR KIDS TO JOURNAL/SCRAPBOOK

     When I was in school, I hated creative writing. As I got older, I found that keeping a sort of journal/scrap book helped me. Several reasons. As I get older I can always look back and see how much I have grown, or how things in life changed. Being able to visualize the change, see it on paper, brings reality for an adult/teen to see that yeah times get hard, but "will this problem matter 10 days from now, a year, ten years?" Usually It won't but it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

     My youngest daughter is 6. She was having some issues sleeping, and some feelings about life a 6 year old shouldn't know about I wouldn't think (no body likes me, everyone wants me to be unhappy). I made her a journal out of an old cook book(you can see it on this blog by clicking here>>> homemade cook book journal. DIY journal art "cook book" journal ). This also gave us the chance to be creative together putting it together. However, when she is having a bad day, sometimes I give her a "time out." Not as in she's in trouble, but as in "Princess, you're getting mouthy, you are not listening, please take time out and go write in your journal. Or draw a picture of how you are feeling." 9/10 times it works. I feel doing this is giving her a head start in expressing her feelings, and NAMING her feelings~which is hard for adults let alone kids. They think they feel either happy, angry, mad or sad. But there are so many more emotions. When she comes out she is so much more happier from writing, drawing or even pasting photos, cut outs, or other memorabilila in her SPECIAL journal. 

    When she comes at me with a, "mom I don't know what to write." I give her ideas off the top of my head. Here is a quick list of ideas.

• What is your biggest dream come true.
• What do you want to be when you grow up, and how will it help other people.
• Name three things you would like to know about your family or family members.
• Make a "bucket list" or list of things you'd like to do on the next rainy day. Then every rainy day, go back and check them off as you do them.
• Write about your hero, who it is, why they are your hero, what things have they done that you would like to do too someday.
• If animals could talk what animals would you want to talk to, and why?
• Describe your dream vacatoin.

There are so many more ideas, but there is always something that the kids can write about a few times a week. Again, this will prove helpful during hard times they can look back at their las "hard time" and see how quickly it went away. Skills for identifying emotions are important. How can we fix negative feelings or celebrate positive ones if we are stuck with 4 feelings~happy,sad,angry,mad? I found giving a description or list of feelings when my daughter gets her "time outs" to journal, helps her to use more than one feeling. Especially for a 6 year old, it's best to have pictures and names below them to help her spell them. I am able to then ask her how she felt and explain the meaning. This is great for vocabulary.
  I hope that parents find this helpful for children with nightmares, behavior problems, emotional issues, boredom, or to even use it as a family "night" making journals, and/or decorating them and/or writing in them. 
   No matter what your child does, if they show effort it's important to notice outloud to the child their efforts and accomplishments. This will build self-esteem in the end. How do I know? I once was a child who couldn't express emotions. I had no outlet when i was upset. I was bored as an only child. As I started writing, and my parents commented on my writings, I then moved from loose leaf paper to putting them in a scrap book, and eventually buying a journal with birthday money at the age of 8. My progress in writing helped me to become a fast reader, and enabled my self-esteem to grow.
  Try it out. I recommend it and so does my 6 year old daughter, along with MANY teachers, parenting experts and Psychologists.
Here is an example of some emotions or a chart you could use:

There are plenty of websites that offer these charts, as well as charts thruout the day. Here are a few links.

• Feeling journal for kids with chart
• feeling and behavior charts for FREE
• "Name It to Tame it" Feeling charts for children

Hope you parents, or journal fanatics like myself or teachers found this helpful. I do. Any questions or coments, Feel free to give them as you please.
xoxo~ Megs

PARENTING LESSONS GIVEN FROM A LOST MOTHER MOLE

WELL Yesterday when my husband was taking JR to mow the yard with our tractor, he found that SOMETHING had built a nest in the engine. Not only had it built a nest but "it" was gone and left 2 little babies that were no more than one inch big with NO hair, and their Eyes are yet to be opened. He pulled them out and made the mistake of showing them to me. He said 'throw them over in the woods, they are going to die.' I belive in FATE and think HE found them for a reason. So I did not listen to him. I warmed up a rag in the microwave and got it hot. I put it in an old LARGE coffee container, put a cloth over it and put them on top of each other to keep them safe and warm. I have been feeding them with a medicine dropper and milk. It's hard because they can't latch on. One eats and one doesn't. They are honestly as small as my pinkie finger. My husband called them Mice. I know from being a CHILD mice lover that they were not. I had 7 litters of mice when my pets had families. Come to find out they are baby Moles. And Moles are usually ugly to me. But now that I'm taking care of them, they are beautiful. I feel like I'm doing God's Will since I have kept them alive over 24 hours. I am in a hurry tonight so haven't snapped a pic yet. BUT this is the CLOSEST pic I could find online. Now mine are hairless and their eyes are closed but other than that they do not look like moles yet. They look cute.Neither of them have ANY distinguishing marks so we can't name them. It's sad, they are wild animals and I am keeping them alive as long as I can to the best of my ability. BUT what do I do when they are old enough to leave my nest~if God is willing they live that long without a REAL mother? I will be sad, and hope that I'm able to give them skills needed to find food on their own. I don't even know how old they need to be. I have real researching to do. :) However, I wanted to share the mirical of life. As a mother of 4, I think this is God given me an experience so that when my children grow up, I will already have went thru what I am dreading most of parent hood... Empty nest syndrom. It's the same. Will I teach my kids the things they need to survive, and I will be (even more) sad to see my kids go as well. So, here is a life learning experience for me all given thru the loss of a mother mole. Here is a similar pic of ours(minus the hair and 2-3 inches).

My little spit fire just like me

My daughter &I are so much alike in personality that when her five year old mouth goes off all mouthy like SHE is the boss it makes me say out loud, "did I just say that..." And I realize its what I call two time out time. Where she gets her time out timer set and I need a time out from her. I'm 28 she is 5 and she doesn't need me screaming AT her like Old Man Riley yells at his dog. She's a human,  and not just any human MY PRINCESS who has this attitude because she needs help calming down in a time out from her five year old world as I sometimes need a break from my 28 year old world. But does 5year old know to take a break? No. And her identical to my mouth is my cue to help her. Not treat her like a dog. When I do help not hinder she'll be able to walk away someday when she is 28 because I taught her to time out from the situation until you are calm then come resolve issues in a Christian way, not as a woman raisin her dog,but future princess to be....my love......my clone....my mini me...who I want to succeed better than I did because I am giving her tools to do it. We fought tonight over cleaning her room and I yelled at her and didn't let her talk. After time out we are gonna cuddle up in bed as we are sitting together and show appreciation for the gift of each other since we aren't promised tomorrow.

JOURNALING TO BE BETTER PARENT; HELP STATES LESSEN MURDER RATE

I recently started a journal. It has been so helpful. Not just in keeping my feelings in check but in proving my boyfriend wrong...I can say "No I swear, its in my journal..." Also my explosive anger episodes....not so much outbursts any more just scribbles. Which, keeps me out of trouble and me owing the kids money for saying bad words "a dime a word." So, feeling like you're going to pop some one's head, feeling like moving out on a LONG time relationship? Gonna flip out on your child for doing "that same thing  I said not to ten times in a row?" Run to the bathroom, bedroom...alone and journal. Trust me...hell it may make the murder rate go down.

RAISE CHILD'S SELF ESTEEM WITH DR.SEUSS QUOTES!!!!

I BELIEVE DR. SEUSS REALLY COULD MAKE A CHILD'S SELF ESTEEM RISE. I USE THESE WITH MY DAUGHTER ALL THE TIME....HECK IT'S HELPED MY SELF ESTEEM.