Are You "Crossing" Your Children? - PARENTING, CHRISTIAN PARENTING

Take a quick two minutes to click here, and read this link. Its amazing how true it is. By reading it we could stop our Children from doing BAD things.

CROSS YOUR CHILDREN! Definition of "cross" in this case:it  comes from the Hebrew word atsab, meaning 'to grieve' or 'to stretch into shape'. For us to "CROSS OUR KIDS," we need to stretch them into the properly disciplined shape. 

 

 

WOW!! I HAD TO SHARE THIS. I get emails all the time from this Website. I have found times that I was having issues dealing with something and next thing I know here is some advice from somebody. If you are not a Christian, please do not let this stop you from reading this. I am a Christian, and glad that I found something that would help me to deal with an issue I have at home, as well as share it with you.

     I have been having issues with my six year old daughter, and my two year old son when it comes to discipline. I'm just like the article says. I am busy, I want to pick my battles and sometimes if it's not hurting them, I just let it go. I'm very guilty of that.

     My 6 year old, Aerieannah, is on this little 'kick' when she's corrected. She doesn't have to be yelled at. She doesn't have to be told anything negative. We believe in the philosophy if you tell a child they do something wrong, you also throw in something positive. Example: "Aerieannah, I asked you to clean your room last night, and there are still mini rubber bands all over, and your dirty water bottles are still in here. But, other than those things you did okay, and I like the way you hung up your purses on the side of the closet that was creative." She is a very smart six year old so she knows that isn't being yelled at or put down. But instead she's always saying, "I don't do anything right." And my least liked, "Nobody appreciates me no matter what I do." I don't know where she heard the second thing. But, I'm guilty for the first statement when I'm frustrated. So, anyway I've been very carefully and lightly "picking my battles" with her. But I need to "Cross Aerieannah more." She is a great Christian for being six. She's at Bible school today as a matter of fact and we don't make her go. We let her go if she wants and she never misses. I'm going to share this passage with her, and explain that every time she's corrected, or told to do something different, it's because we want to "stretch her to be more Godly."

     As for my 2 year old son Chris Junior, when he's corrected, he either doesn't care, or is on this "kick" of saying "I'm sorry." in a sad voice when he has no need to feel that bad about it. I know he only partially knows what it means but he genuinely feels bad when something happens and says sorry like that in the saddest voice. NEXT he'll say, "Oh, mommy mad at me?" Or "I make Grammy sad?" And we have been working on explaining when he hurts somebody and feels bad about it that is when he should feel sorry. We've explained we don't get mad at him, just upset because he knows better and we still love him so much. We explain that HE doesn't make anyone sad it's what he did that upset somebody but they love him more than an object. We are working on that. As for him being forgiving and wanting forgiven, I don't feel we'll have an issue stretching him that way. It's just throughout the day, when a two year old boy (I never went through this with my 3 girls) decides he is going to do what he wants to do. He ignores us. He throws the normal fit when he doesn't get what he wants. So, to make it less stressful for us, I now notice we are picking our battles with him there too. If he throws a fit because he wants to go outside and we are all inside, just so we don't have to fight him over the door (he opens and closes it on his own, and will step on just the top step-for now to test us), one of us will say he needs to get pants and shoes on. Then we are sitting on the porch despite what we had to do before we should 'play.' We now need to be more stern because he will learn quick what he can get away with him and we want to 'stretch him into a good listening, patient boy. See, we are TAKING patients from him by not making him wait.

 

      I'm going to share my favorite part of the advice from this email I shared with you. It's at the end. It tells us how to become more ACTIVE parents, (I feel I meet most of that part), how to hold our children accountable-I need more of that, and it helps us manage their attitude which I need to do with Aerieannah. Here is the quote from the end:

 

“Crossing” is simply another name for “active parenting.” Crossing is being involved in your child’s life and knowing their daily activities. It is being on top of their schedule and knowing who their friends are. It is placing yourself and God’s standard before them on a regular basis. It is governing what they read in books and see on the screen, both computer and theatre. It is having full access to computer passwords, iPod, cell phones and bedrooms. It is enforcing curfews and keeping them accountable. It gives you the freedom to not simply manage actions but attitude, facial expressions and tone of voice. It requires, at times, for you to grieve them and look for the opportunities to “stretch” them into the shape God desires. Ultimately, crossing says, “I love you” in a gritty, consistent, uncomfortable, unpopular way. And therein lies the problem. For many parents it is too much work and requires too much time. Because stretching is hard and grieving children is difficult, we neglect our biblical responsibility to our children’s peril.   As verse 6 indicates, crossing cannot happen without cross-examination – asking the tough questions. It is the responsibility of every parent to ask the confrontational question, “Why have you done so?” Regardless of your age or theirs, you are your child’s keeper, particularly if they sleep under your roof and are kept afloat by your financial boat. God leads by example when he cross-examined the first family:  

To Adam, “Where are you? Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” (Genesis 3:9, 11)

To Eve, “What is this you have done?” (Genesis 3:13)

To Cain, “Why are you angry? Why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? Where is Abel your brother?  What have you done?” (Genesis 4:6-7, 9-10

~From The official blog of Rod Arters as posted on www.crosswalk.com

I think that part spoke to me the most.

I also  like at the end when they use the verse from Hebrews (they use 12:7-11). I think that 'softies' such as myself need to remember that it says in the Bible that we are loved if we are disciplined. It talks about how we are disciplined because we are loved and wanted to be brought up right. Also, how nobody LIKES to be disciplined, most of us form resentments in the process. But if we read the Bible and trust the Word, we will know that, like it says," though we do not like it while we are enduring it, in the end it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

 

Sure it hurts me and my feelings {as well as my kids' feelings} when I discipline them. I don't even hit them. But don't we all want our children to have a harvest of righteousness and peace? OF COURSE WE DO. So, I'm going to step it up. With summer coming, I'll report my progress on my two youngest kiddos. Let me know what you thought of this. I liked it and HAD to share it.

 

XoxO,

Megs 

APRIL AND MAY AGENDA: ORGANIZING HOME, A NEW YOU

HELLO~
I got some cool crafts to share with you this month. We are organizing like crazy. SPRING CLEANING of course. I want to share some of the cool ideas I found myself, as well as some that I found in magazines and thanks to other Bloggers. I hope that when I put the different things down that helped me, my husband, and my children to not only be organized but also, to put our house into perspective, you will get the feeling I got. RELIEF that the little spots of clutter are gone. Looks like a new house in places. YES I'm still working. I am going to master my daughter's bedroom and our craft area, as well as the toy/play area. This will lead into how to get ready to throw a killer yard sale in order to buy much needed things for summer, or just to get rid of the old.

NEXT a NEW YOU: as moms and dads, we don't have a ton of time to work out do we? I have found some 5, 7, and 10 minute workouts that you can do while cooking, cleaning, reading to the kids, playing with the kids, and just sitting on the computer at home, work, or school.

Along with a new you, I have been trying a TON of lotions, make ups, hair supplies, and everything beauty. As a mom, you play such an important role in your child's life. It's important your children know that you DO take time to paint your nails, shave your legs, throw on some anti-aging lotion, and keep your hair strong and looking new with different styles. I have not only found the highly recommended in magazines we read, but I have tried them and passed them to friends and family to get an opinion. I'm not a huge blog so NO I am NOT getting paid to recommend these products throughout these months.

FINALLY: PRODUCTS FOR THE KIDS. Lets share summer ideas for kid toys and trips. As well as our favorite must have summer products. Feel free to share now, or as the topic comes up. Deal? As we get more followers and more and more feed backs we will be doing more give always. It just seems like it's not a great idea to do that NOW since we have mainly friends of mine and family following. LOL. NOT FAIR> but down the road as the listings go up I will post freebies and you can find them on Pinterest. I'll post the link when that time comes.

Okay first two steps will be coming within this week. Along with some COOL actual professional looking crafts and the how to's.
xoxo
Megs

The Parenting Book INSTINCT

When I was just about to have my first baby, Autumn~now 10, I remember every cold, sniffle, cough, rash(diaper or other) I was going to the doctor. He made me so angry always saying, 'you are just first time parents' and sent us on our way. If only babies came with instructions...especially nights those kids don't sleep. Well my daughter starts having so much snot at 2 weeks old that she'd cough so hard, choke on snot, turn blue, and throw up. As a first time mom I knew something was wrong. So did her dad. But did we want to go be told we are worried since her cough started at week 1. I have had 5 births and am blessed with 4 kids. It is normal for new born babies to cough and sneeze their mucus from the womb out. But still being a 1st time parent something was wrong. I thought I had no baby manual no instruction book, but in knew something was wrong. So back to doctor Make Me Feel Dumb. He said a cold& home with albuteral. Well, another week of it not working & her turning blue and now purple with bugged out eyes. So I went to the EMERGENCY ROOM. As the nurse witnessed this, and my baby was being admitted. She was watched by her doctor who said nothing was wrong. A week she sat there. No help no diagnosis no medicine, almost dying . I had it. I had the feeling in my gut that my kid needed help beyond what they were doing. I had a gut feeling &heavy heart telling me to get her to a Children's Hospital. Less than an hour later her main nurse said to me that she shouldn't tell us but we needed to move her to Pittsburgh Children's Hospital. So, we asked the Dr and he had a helicopter there in 20 minutes. She was at Children's Hospital in 1 hour she was diagnosed with Pertussis. Babies get vaccines for that at age 2 months, she was 2 weeks. They told me that if I would have put off getting her there another hour she would have DIED. BUT she's 10.
Why? Part God part my mother instincts. Parental instincts. We parents do get instructions, it's our gut.
My gut has instructed me tens of hundreds of times in the best interest of my kids. I DO NOT go by the book at all. I do what is best for my kids. And I know what that is by my gut.
PARENTS :
1~follow your gut its usually right
2~ paternal & maternal instincts exist
3~ you are more capable of raising, caring for, and helping a child reach full potential than you give yourself credit for
4~no parent is perfect. We strive to do our best for our children and if we do our best we doin it right.
5~your gut & heart are always right follow them.
6~ let your children make decisions they always need to express them selves
7~ if your kids are healthy and happy you got this.

posted from Bloggeroid

Feeding His Lambs: Being Responsible for leading ALL Children to Jesus

Day 30 - Fathers and Mothers Devotion | The New Bible.com
Each day I read the bible (or something like it). By going to youversion.com, and doing the devotional titled, "Father's and mother's devotion," I reached day 30 today and it talked about how Jesus was talking to Peter in John 21, and Jesus says, "Peter, do you love me more than these?" and Peter replies, "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." and Jesus replied, "Then feed my Lambs." To Me, this showed the importance of pouring our love for Jesus out by "feeding" each other. I was relating this to the reading and if you click on the link above at the very top, and sign up you can do the whole devotion. Or I'll copy the part that went to this to help you understand what I mean when I'm discussing this.
This is what the devotional to that verse in John 21 said:

It Takes a Village: Feed My Lambs
"Ora na azu nwa"--Nigerian Igbo proverb.
Some of you who are single or married without children may be thinking, “Well, this whole parenting thing is for somebody else.” Not true. The African proverb is right--it really does take a village to raise a child.
You may not have a child but are connected by blood, marriage, and faith to many young ones. God considers you a key part of the discipling process. Parents are often exhausted and overwhelmed by the day-to-day care of their children. They need and welcome as many Jesus-loving, hug-giving adults in their lives as possible.
After his triumphant resurrection, Jesus commissioned believers to feel a sense of communal responsibility for children. He told his main man Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?’ ‘Yes, Lord’, he said, ‘you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs” (John 21:15).
Whether you’re an auntie or uncle, a Sunday school teacher or a neighbor, a community or church volunteer, a coach or a teacher, Jesus is thrilled that you are willing to be part of his village, thrilled that you place such high value on his little people, thrilled that you are helping to feed his lambs."

This is very true. I believe 100% that Kids DO need as many "Jesus-Loving, hug-giving adults in their lives as possible. For many reasons. of course, to be Fed, but also, To be Loved so they learn to Love. All the 10 commandments are followed by doing TWO things. 1. Loving God Above everyone and everything with all your heart, and 2. Loving Your Neighbor as yourself. We must teach them to Love, not only by emotion, but importantly by action. I believe that when Jesus said to Peter, "Feed my Lambs," he was showing that WE ALL, as Jesus' followers are responsible to look after each other, including each other's children. By doing so we are also following some of his other teachings. We are responsible to feed His lambs. We each have a purpose, but this is a very special one. By feeding His "Lambs" we are following his teaching that we are to keep children innocent. We are to be like kids. Jesus says that if we are not like children we will NOT enter the Kingdom. In Matthew 19:13-15, People brought children to Jesus for him to Place his hands on them and pray for them. These people were rebuked by the disciples because in their minds, Jesus was much too busy to be bothered with some kids. But Jesus made it known: "Bring the children to me and do NOT hinder them. For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Then he placed his hands on them and prayed. This TINY passage goes with this reading. We are to BRING children to Jesus' Kingdom and not hinder them from coming. how do we do this?  We Do this by following his teaching to Peter. We feed the Lambs and BAM! It's a domino effect. We are responsible for using our gifts to get to children, our own, our neighbor kids, nieces, nephews, and younger siblings, and feeding them spiritual knowledge. Feeding them love. Feeding them the Word of God. Feeding them kindness, gentleness, and EVERY ounce of Jesus we can. Once The Children are fed, once we have "Fed His Lambs," then we will learn to notice, learn to act like, learn to believe like a "lamb." Once we play with the children, teach them, get to know them, we will then, By Feeding them, learn how to get into Heaven. By being with a child and becoming child like, Jesus tells us that "The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to Such As These." So, we are not only responsible to feed the Lambs, but to become like them. How? BELIEF. Innocence. Children believe us adults out of faith, out of being unable to do much without us, by relying on us. They are so innocent that they have no choice but to believe we will feed them, we will cloth them, give them all they need because through their innocence, they are required to believe us, trust us, and have a strong desire to be like us. Why? Didn't your parent's ever say not to feed the stray cat? Once you feed it, the cat TRUSTS you'll always feed it, care for it, as do Children. We feed the Lambs, And once we feed His Lambs, we will learn to embrace that innocence of a child and enter the Kingdom. We will learn to just accept as a child does that Jesus will be sure our needs are met, and we will enter the Kingdom. They Accept what we tell them, as we need to Be "such as these" and believe what Jesus says. Don't be a "Thomas," who was low in his faith and had to see the sores in Jesus' hands To believe it was the Lord, Thomas had to have it proven to him, he wasn't innocent as a child and didn't just accept it, Jesus showed him his sores where the nails were THEN he believed, don't be like Thomas. But instead, Feed His Lambs His knowledge, God's Word, and in the process, learn to Be as a Lamb and eat Jesus' Knowledge as a child: Innocently, acceptingly, and most importantly with Faith and Strong Belief that what he says is true. As a Child (Lamb) eats the knowledge we read them and teach them of the word, we need to be such as those and eat the same knowledge we are feeding.
So, Always stay alert and Feed His Lambs. Then Become A Lamb yourself.
xoxox,
 Megs

STRESS RELIEF: EVERYONE NEEDS it sometime

         This is a very helpful relaxation video I used today. Everyone needs some relaxation once in a while, and there are many for free on You Tube. Lately I have been doing these relaxation techniques and I notice how much calmer I feel. Let's face it, life is stressful. Though I LOVE my kids, they can do things that I allow my self to get stressed over. I have an anxiety issue that I've had since I've been a child so therefore, I had to find HEALTHY ways to cope with it. Sure my prescription of "nerve pills" is helpful, but is it really? It helps for the time being but when it wares off my stress and anxieties are still there. So, I turned to this recently. Because clearing my mind, letting go of stress, and allowing myself to calm down really puts a reality on stillness that is so needed in life. So, try this out if you never have. Try this out if you never  feel quiet, take ten fifteen minutes for yourself. Especially being a parent it's important because we need to learn to quiet our minds or calm down at the drop of a dime. Give it a go, and if it works let me know. If you don't have 18 minutes and 36 seconds for this one like I said, there are shorter ones out there. that last as little as 5 minutes. If it comes down to do this or flip out....take the time. Not into meditation, what are some other useful techniques you use for stress? Ive done guided immagry, running, exercise, and just flat out took a nap. What do you do?
xoxo

Megs

TIME TO START CHRISTMAS SHOPPING Part 1

So, it's that time again. Fall. And what's right around the corner? That's right. Christmas. And what's worse than last minute shopping? Not a whole lot. Last minute shopping comes with too many emotions: fear, dread, anger, remorse, and the ever hated regret and resentment.
Christmas for my family is a time to celebrate. Not just celebrate getting and giving, but to celebrate being together, and most importantly the Birth of Jesus. So, why allow Christmas to steal your cheer, as it has mine so many times?
Don't. I stopped this mess a long time ago. This is what I do. Around now, mid October I log on to Amazon.com. No You don't have to shop there (though it's a good way to avoid the rush at holidays), but it will help organize the things you must buy for Christmas. Espescially if you are like me and have more than one school age child or younger. I have to date a 2 year old boy, and 6, 8 and 9 year old girls, with one more bundle coming the end of March (sex is unknown). So, what I do is start watching the comercials. And you WILL see plenty of them. Our TV is rarely on anything BUT Nick Jr., or Disney Channel so of course I see plenty of toy comercials. You'll hear your kids saying the occasional, "Wow!" or "EW I want/need THAT!" and take note. Even my 2 year old sees toys and says, "ME!" And I say, "Oh do you want that?" And he replys with a smile, and an, "KAY!"-As he has not yet mastered "yes" as a way of responding but replaces it with "Kay."
I will then write them down and when I get a moment, I'll log into Amazon.com, and look up the toys and if they are worth it or interesting, I'll add it to my WISH LIST. This is a free service AMAZON offers so you can be notified if the price goes down, or up, and when it goes down, I order it, and avoid the Christmas rush. Here is one of my Just started lists for 2013. Click on it and it shows the price and the toy, and if you are buying for multiple people like myself, you can write notes as to who its for, or where it's going on sale, and even print your list and take it to the store. Check it out, make your own, whatever.

Sample Christmas Wish List

Next step: Buying for adults. My kids are in many programs, Bible Study, Girl Scouts, the Gifted Program, SCHOOL. So, I always have access to fundraisers. Though most things are expensive, you can stock up on things this way for adults. Ever have Christmas dinner and someone show up you do not have a gift for? Me too. This will help you not only buy for those adults you have on your list, but you can also have a few extra gifts "just incase." This year I took advantage of my oldest daughter's gifted program by ordering mason jar candles for only $8 each for adults. I also hit my youngest daughters Girl Scout Nut and Magazine sale, got each kid a magazine subscription for Christmas, but also bought 10 cans and jars of nuts because they are great adult Christmas gifts that are priced at $5-$8. This helps kid's activities and you at Christmas, as they ALWAYS come by November.
Finally, I visit the Dollar store regularly. The reason is, everything is $1 and there are SO many awesome stocking stuffers for the kids, and great containers to stuff home baked cookies in for gifts to friends, family and neighbors.
This is just a quick note on How to Jump Ahead On Christmas Shopping by Starting in the FALL. Shopping early means less stress and more time for family and to enjoy the meaning of Christmas.
Look for part 2.
xoxo
Megs

10 Tips for Praying as a Couple, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples

10 Tips for Praying as a Couple, Christian Engagement, Newlywed Couples

I FOUND THIS SITE TODAY. IT HAS EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO HEAR, AND I GOT SOME ADVICE ON MAKING A STRONGER MARRIAGE. I WILL SAY CHRIS AND I DO PRAY TOGETHER. THE FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER. IT IS COMFORTING KNOWING THAT I HAVE A HUSBAND THAT IS WILLING TO PRAY FOR ME INSTEAD OF POINT A FINGER AT ME. ITS COMFORTING WHEN WE TAKE TURNS PRAYING TOGETHER AND WE TAKE THE WORDS OUT OF EACH OTHERS MOUTH OR WE ARE ABLE TO SEE HOW EACH OTHER ARE GROWING IN CHRIST. p.s. this pic is not of Chris and I. It's from the website.